I wanted to call this "Waking from a Nightmare", but it wasn't all that bad.

First let me apologize for not blogging much over the past few months, but a lot has been going on.  Let us begin at the end, the end being: I've finally returned home.

See?

How did I get here?  Well, let's work our way back to this point.  Before we do, let me remind you that this story will probably take up several posts.  As we progress, you'll begin to realize why I haven't blogged in so long.  Also, If I should forget to mention something in the story and remember it while typing a later post in this series, it will be denoted by the phrase, "Oh!  I almost forgot!"

Well, here goes.

I had been sick for some time, perhaps a year or more.  I suffered everything from double vision to severe joint pain.  I had a high fever everyday and trouble sleeping at night.  Things continued to get worse.  It got to the point where activities as simple a getting out of bed, standing up, sitting down and walking became excruciating.  All of my joints became swollen and painful.  I visited several doctors, none of which seemed to have a clue as to what was wrong with me. 

Eventually (sometime after I wrote my last real post - February 18th), I was referred to a rheumatologist, who immediately sent me to the hospital emergency room.  There they took my blood, ran some other tests (including an ANAL PROBE!!! ), told me they found some "troubling" things in the results and told me to come back to see the hematologist (blood specialist) the next week.  I thumbed my nose at their suggestion (I mean, come on!  This hospital didn't find anything in my blood the countless times I had been to them before.  Why would I think they would have answers for me now?) and returned to the rheumatologist...who urged me to return to the hospital.  I felt I was being jerked around, but acquiesced and went to see the hematologist.  He ran a more comprehensive blood test and told my wife and me that the results would return in a week.  After a very uneasy week, we returned.  We entered his office and he asked me to sit down.  Before I could bring my rear end all the way down to the chair, the doctor said, "I think it's cancer."

*DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!* (Suspenseful music)

What will happen next?!  Is this the end for our hero?!  Will he get out of Japan alive?!  Will Kim Kardashian ever find true love?!

Find out the answers to these and other questions in the next exciting blog post from Ice Cocoa!

Since coming to Ome, I have started a little private English business.  It's lucrative work if you can get it.  The best part is that it allows me to set my own schedule so I can be there for Kai when he needs me.  This line of work is extremely different from teaching in the school system, but that goes without saying.  The trick is getting started, which can take a while.  You have to advertise, make your credentials known and develop a reputation.   So, I got out there and started spreading the word.  I knew just one customer would lead to another then another and so on.  Slowly, I began to cultivate a clientele.  The result has been a most colorful list of English students, all adults.  Below are just a few of the folks I teach every week; each one special in his/her own way.

The Housewives

There are quite a few of these on my client list, so I decided to lump them all together.  Plus, they're the students I like least, so I just want to talk about them first and get them out of the way.  They are, without a doubt, my most uninteresting students.  Housewives who take my lessons are basically just looking for something to do.  They're not really interested in learning English.  They just want something to fill their otherwise empty schedules.  Which means if I spend too much time on grammar and not enough time entertaining them, they get bored.  The worst part is they don't really do anything other than the occasional tea time with other housewives.  Their lives are mundane.  When I ask them, "So, what did you do this week?", their response is "Nothing", which absolutely KILLS the "free talk" (conversation) portion of the lesson.  If I ask them, "So, what do you want to talk about today?", they generally stare off into space with their mouths open for a full minute.  As a result, I've had to give them topics to discuss with me at each lesson, which kind of takes the "free" out of free talk.  I alone drive the conversation for as long as I can then move on to an activity.  I think you can imagine what this is like.  Have you ever had a friend/coworker/acquaintance who never really adds much to any conversation?  So you say something, they respond with something like "yeah" and then there's this awkward silence.  You continue to drive the conversation and the whole experience is utterly excruciating.  This is what it's like to free talk with a Japanese housewife. I understand that there's a language barrier, but their English is good enough to converse effectively.  They just don't seem to have anything to say.

One of these housewives stands out in my mind and seems to define the whole group.  She's 35 years old, married with no children and has the appearance and demeanor of a second year junior high school student.  She looks and acts so much like a 14-year-old, in fact, that I wanted desperately to check her ID at our first lesson.  You wouldn't believe her even if you saw her.  Of course, she hates grammar and has nothing to say, but the worst part is if I ask her a question she lowers her head and giggles into her hand like a school girl.  All I want to do at that point is take her hand away from her face and say, "Grow up!"  She recently told me that she will have to quit taking my lessons soon (what scheduling conflict she could possibly have is beyond me) and I actually rejoiced!

The Twins

They're not really twins, I just like to call them that.  This brother/sister pair are about three years apart from each other.  The brother is a college student, and the sister is - get this - an English teacher for a cram school (a private tutoring facility mainly for high school kids who want to cram for their exams).  The brother is studying biology, wants to study in America as an exchange student and confesses to wanting an American girlfriend.  The sister already has an American boyfriend (her former private English teacher) and is doing her best to pressure him into marriage...even though she's 24!  Both are high level English speakers, which makes conversations with them fun, interesting and, I must add, hilarious.  We spend a large part of our free talk period laughing about the differences between our cultures. 

My only problem with them is that they constantly want to change their schedules.  "Let's change our lesson to Tuesdays.  Okay, now let's change it back to Wednesdays.  Hey, do you have any time slots open on Fridays?"  Their own schedules don't really change that much from week to week.  They just want to try out different days and times.  Perhaps they think their English abilities are different depending on the day and time (I know my Japanese abilities are ).  However, because I already have a full schedule, I don't allow them to change that much.  Teaching the twins usually brings my spirits up, especially since I have to teach a housewife the same day.  But the best part is that they take their lessons separately, back-to-back, which means for one trip I get paid full price for two lessons instead of time-and-a-half for a combined lesson.  This is why I really like them.  *Wink*

Makoto

Makoto is one of my "salali-man" (salary men - corporate paper-pushers).  They are my more serious students.  Some take my class out of curiosity, others want to take exams for English certification, but they all believe that English can somehow advance their careers.

Makoto is in his mid-40s, unmarried and shy.  He's also a high level English student.  He works hard on his English assignments despite having to work most nights until midnight.  I like this guy mostly because he's focused and always asks intelligent questions about the material.  Furthermore, he has a very gentle, easygoing personality, which makes our lessons (despite the intensity of the material) laid back and relaxing.  He's such a nice guy that I have so far refrained from asking him why he never married, though I'm dying to know.

But here's what makes Makoto special.  He recently left his salali-man job (with a nice-sized severance package) and is going back to school to study medicine.  This is something I rarely see in Japan: a complete mid-life career change.  Generally, Japanese people get stuck in one career for the rest of their lives.  Not Makoto. He saw a chance and took it.  What a difference from the usual Japanese stick-to-it,  keep-your-head-down-and-keep-cultivating-that-same-rice-patty attitude.

At the moment, Makoto is traveling Europe, but will be back in time for our Saturday lesson.  I look forward to hearing his adventures.

Shunpei

Shunpei is a gas station attendant/professional singer.  Yep, you heard me right.  By day he pumps gas, then at night and on weekends he performs concerts in various parts of Tokyo.  He even has his own CD, recorded at a little-known recording studio.  Our lessons consist mostly of grammar, activities (trivia games, etc.) and translating R & B songs.  We study the R & B songs (where we also practice pronouncing the lyrics in English) because Shunpei has added this style of music to his repertoire.  He used to only sing Japanese and Italian Pop.

Shunpei is, most certainly, my most enthusiastic student.  He's always at the edge of his chair, bouncing up and down, making jokes, smiling and saying "This is fun." at the end of every grammar section or activity.  His giddiness makes every lesson go by quickly.  Despite his fascination, however, he is a very slow learner.  We spend weeks on a single grammar point where other students might spend only one week.  He's also very forgetful and doesn't seem to retain the information.  This breaks my heart because of his zeal.  If I could combine his gusto with the retentive skills of my other students, he would soon be fluent.  Nevertheless, I believe that with time his enthusiasm will fuel his grasp of the material.

I attended one of his concerts last October where I discovered that he is, in fact, an excellent singer.  He invited me on stage where I belted out "Amazing Grace" and received a standing ovation, solidifying our friendship for all time.

Good luck, Shunpei.  I hope to see you at the Grammys someday.

Here's to all of my students, good and bad.  Whether I like you or not, I hope you will succeed.

Oh,...

hi...

I guess you're wondering where I've been.  The truth is, I really haven't gone anywhere.  I just haven't been motivated to stare at a computer screen with my impaired vision and try to hammer out thoughts, feelings and events.  However, I noticed a few weeks ago that my double vision is mostly gone (I only get it now if my eyes are tired or if I look to my extreme right without turning my head), so off with the eye patch and on with my life.  I'm still concerned that the doctors here were never able to figure out what the problem was, but I will not look this proverbial gift horse in the mouth.  I'll simply try to wait until I can get back to the States to be examined by a real doctor.

As for an update, I'll try to run through a few events that have occurred in my life over the past few months.  Nothing all that interesting or exciting really, but here goes:

June

My Son's Ninth Birthday

New PSP

Yes, that's right.  Another child-distracting, mind-destroying device.  I'm a terrible parent.

July

Father/Son Campout

That's right.  Don't adjust your sets, folks.  Your eyes do not deceive you.  That really is a black man in the wilderness!

When my wife heard that the local Bible chalet was offering a father/son camping trip, she immediately signed us up.  My initial reaction to her was, "OK, we've been married now for, what, eleven years?...

DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME AT ALL?!

Have you seen many black dudes camping out?  It's not exactly something we're known to do!"

I mean seriously, we spent centuries trying to get out of the field and into the house.  We're in no rush to get back out into the field!

My wife had already paid the fee, however (oh, why couldn't there have been a mother/son camping trip?), so a-camping we went.

Rafting

Fishing...sort of.

Hiking up a mountain.

                                       ...and up...

                                                                                ...and up some more...for three and a half hours!

If you've ever wondered what my fake smile looks like,

There ya go!

A more realistic shot of me when I thought no one was looking.

Oh!  I almost forgot to mention, the next day we did...

more hiking!...IN THE RAIN! 

It may have been July everywhere else, but on top of that mountain it felt like February.

Father/son activities...in the rain!

And, of course, Bible study.

I may have hated the whole experience (my double vision didn't help matters at all), but my son had a blast.  Oh well, that's fatherhood.  Sometimes ya gotta do stuff you hate to put a smile on your kid's face (smile not pictured).

August

Blah, blah, blah...sweltering heat...yada, yada...Ice Cocoa turns into Hot Cocoa...

September

...still hot...had a wonderful visit from my favorite Australian (not pictured)...also got to see my closest friend in Japan at the same time (also not pictured)...

October

Sports Day

Dancing.  Yes...they dance for sports day.

Third place!  Woo-hoo!  I was so proud.

In the end, his team won.  All in all, a satisfying day.  Of course, just seeing my boy get some exercise was enough for me.

November

Blah, blah, blah...getting cold...no Thanksgiving...not motivated enough...just put up the Christmas tree...

...aaaaannnnd...boom!  You're up to date.  Was it good for you, too?